


No rest for the wicked

by Sternenfeuer



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Gen, Slice of Life, and a possible prelude to murder, just Gladio being a bit of a dick, where nothing significant happens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-21 04:07:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16569338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sternenfeuer/pseuds/Sternenfeuer
Summary: All Ignis wanted was to enjoy a nice, quiet morning in the camp before they'll get back to their usual routine of killing pests and saving worlds. But some people not only can't seem to get the hint, they might even harbour some secret agenda hidden behind the mask of friendliness.





	No rest for the wicked

An exceptionally beautiful morning dawned on the camp. The clear sky promised a nice day ahead and while a hint of night's chillness still lingered in the air, it was warm enough outside Ignis decided a jacket won't be necessary when he climbed out of the tent. There was no better remedy for any persisting drowsiness than a gentle kiss of the cool breeze, after all. That, and a healthy dose of Ebony. 

He cleaned himself up in the small washtub and began to set breakfast ingredients on his worktable. While his hands moved almost automatically, he looked around to take in the sight of the dewdrops on the leaves, shining and shimmering like a myriad of precious gems scattered around the foliage, and the crisp, fresh smell of the waking nature interlacing with the rich aroma steaming from his first cup of coffee and the bacon sizzling on the portable grill beside him. 

His lips curled into the softest of smiles. As much as he always considered camping to be more of a necessary evil than anything else, he soon found himself looking forward to this lonely morning routine that was giving him a chance to enjoy the peace and quiet otherwise unattainable when the two youngest members of their party were up and about. 

In fact, he was so deeply immersed in his blissful moment it took him a while to notice the nagging feeling he's being watched. 

Ignis turned around, expecting to find some hungry member of the local wildlife stalk the perimeter of the camp, being lured here by the smell of food, but it was just Gladio (so he wasn't entirely wrong about the hungry beast part), leaning against the nearby tree, looking at him with a smile and an amused glint in his eyes. 

He must have just returned from his morning run followed by the swim in the nearby lake, judging by the fact he had nothing but his trousers on and by the water drops still glistening on his naked skin and trickling down from his wet hair. 

Nothing about his posture or his expression indicated a reason for an alarm, so Ignis relaxed and pulled his hand away from the largest cooking knife. 

"Is anything a matter, Gladio?" he asked as he returned to his work, unsure what earned him such an intense attention from his friend, and run a hand through his hair just in case he had a bug stuck there again. 

Gladio responded with a lazy shrug. "Nothing. It's just I'd never thought I'll ever walk up on you crooning like that, is all," he grinned. 

Ignis shoot him a sideways glance. "I'd very much appreciate if you wouldn't make a habit of this sneaking around me. I find it rather unnerving." 

"Sorry 'bout that... though I wasn't exactly sneaking, you were just kinda... spaced out, I guess?" 

"I see." Ignis rubbed the back of his neck somewhat embarrassed he was caught not only completely off-guard but in a such a private act on the top of that. "Quite... careless of me." 

"Well, you were so on edge the past few days it looked like you're about to snap, so I'd call this an improvement," Gladio said as he dropped his boots and wet shirt at the tent and grabbed a towel hanging over the cord to dry himself. "What got you in such a good mood all of a sudden?" 

"I've simply concluded we're doing good enough so far there's no need for excessive concerns," Ignis shrugged, focused on slicing cheese. "Plus, a good night's rest and a nice morning can also do wonders in lifting one's spirit." 

"And the last outpost was stoked on Ebony," Gladio pointed at the half-empty mug on the table. 

"And the last outpost was stocked on Ebony," Ignis nodded with a smile, earning himself a comment about hopeless addicts he refused to grace with a response. 

Pulling a clean shirt on, Gladio shambled to the table and craned his neck over Ignis' shoulder. 

"What'cha making today?" 

"Just quick meat sandwiches. If we want to catch that monster before noon, we should leave early," he replied; "that monster" being yet another behemoth with a bounty on its head they were supposed to deal with. 

"Then let's hope His Highness will get his royal ass up at some reasonable hour." 

"I will wake him up once the breakfast is ready," Ignis assured him and when he noticed Gladio made himself comfortable on the corner of the table, he peered at him over the rim of his glasses. 

"And just what do you think you're doing?" 

"Oh, don't mind me. I'm just waiting." 

"Waiting for what exactly, pray tell?" 

"Well, I kinda hoped to hear the rest of that musical number of yours," Gladio grinned. "You don't need to stop on my account, you know." 

Ignis' look turned into a sharp glare. "My personal quirks are not here for your amusement," he said perhaps a bit too harshly and cleaved a tomato clean in half with a single vigorous blow. 

Gladio's smile faded and his eyes widened in confusion. "What? Oh no, I wasn't mocking you, I swear. It's just..." he paused for a moment, searching for the right words, then shrugged. "Dunno, it's good to see you actually doing something just for fun. And you have a pretty nice singing voice, too," he added with a sheepish grin. 

Ignis averted his eyes and uttered a nervous laugh. "I'm afraid your compliment is undeserved. My voice is nothing special. While I might enjoy singing  on occasions, I've never undergone any sort of a formal musical training and it shows." 

"Godsdammit, Iggy!" Gladio shook his head, sending water drops from his hair flying everywhere. 

Ignis took off his glasses to wipe the few droplets that landed there away and shoot his companion a puzzled look. 

"I beg your pardon?" 

"You know not everything you do has to be absolutely flawless and by the books to be worth something, right?" 

"I'm afraid I don't understand," Ignis said, taken aback. 

"'Course you don't," Gladio muttered and looked around the cooking station, perfectly neat and organized as ever. "I mean, I don't think you'd sound that much better after hours and hours of classes, that's all." 

"I definitely would have." 

"Yeah, as far as the teachers' requirements and guidelines go, maybe," he waved his hand. "But it'd no longer sound like you - the real you. And I kinda prefer it over the 'you' you put up for the public." 

Ignis bristled. "Are you implying I'm a stuck-up poseur who doesn't know how to have fun?!" 

"Given how much fun you clearly have beating the crap out of me during sparring sessions every time I let you?" Gladio chuckled. "No. I'm just saying you're pushing yourself too hard to be perfect in everything you do, no matter how trivial or personal it might be. As if just enjoying yourself or letting loose a bit from time to time is a crime." 

Although he would be the first one to admit it is rare for him to indulge himself in some meaningless activity for the sheer pleasure of it and that he is somewhat of a pedantic perfectionist always striving to give the best performance possible, this wasn't a discussion Ignis felt like having right now. He straightened his back and shot Gladio a sideways glance. 

"You seem to be forgetting we can't afford to be careless in these times." 

"Yeah. Sure." Gladio rolled his eyes. "That's why Prompto's running around with his camera shooting everything and their grandma and we have to pretty much drag Noct away from every puddle that could hold a single fish." His expression turned into a soft frown. "C'mon, Iggy, I'm not talking about throwing this journey away and joining a travelling circus. Just go easier on yourself before you'll get completely buried under all those responsibilities you're taking on." 

He barely spared him a glance, focusing on the grill at the moment. 

"While I'm... touched by your concern, I can assure you I'm perfectly fine." 

"Uh-huh. Tell me again when you won't get a twitch the next time Prompto trips over a pot full of stew." And when Ignis grumbled something about overacting meddlers, Gladio sighed and ran his hand down his face. "I'm serious, Iggy. You strain yourself too much over the darnest things." 

"Like what, for example?" 

"Well, for example, I'm pretty sure Noct can survive with a missing button or two for a day while you take an evening off." 

"The state of Noct's garments is not a matter of survivability, it's a matter of decorum!" Ignis protested. "Even though he usually doesn't act like that, he's still the prince and the future king and he should at the very least look the part. You might not consider this to be an issue worthy of attention but especially in light of recent events, it's important to maintain a certain degree of style." 

Gladio raised an eyebrow and the corner of his mouth tugged upwards. "Style? Here?" he gestured at the surrounding wilderness. "Show me someone who cares around here, Iggy. Sabretusks? Goblins? The folks who think we're just a weird bunch of hunters with a horrible fashion sense? With the amount of time we spend running around covered in mud and blood of whatever we just hacked to pieces, we hardly give any sort of the 'nobility' vibe anymore." 

"As if it ever was a case with _you_ to begin with," Ignis scoffed and returned to cutting vegetables. "And I refuse to discuss the importance of a proper attire with someone who deems a full-upper body tattoo to be a clothing article," he spat over his shoulder. 

Gladio gasped, barely holding back laughter. "Damn, that was savage. I better get me some elixir for that three-degree burn." 

"You'll have to settle for an ice-pack. No wasting curatives before a difficult battle," Ignis said sternly but his eyes twinkled. 

He reached for another tomato and at that moment, he noticed a minute disorder in the ingredients piled on the side of the table for later use. An egg slice was knocked over and when he looked closer, he discovered several pieces of cheese and ham to be missing. 

As a sudden realization dawned on him, Ignis slowly turned to Gladio, eyes blazing and nostrils flared. 

"Gladiolus," he uttered in a voice cold enough to chill the surrounding air. 

"Yeah?" 

The very fact Gladio's face was a smiling, wide-eyed picture of pure innocence was an undeniable proof of his guilt. 

Ignis raised his knife (Gladio had enough self-preservation not to point out any possible similarities with a certain similarly-equipped small daemon) and hissed: "Unless you remove yourself from my workplace this instant, I shall remove the stolen contents from your stomach. Considering you didn't have time to chew, I'm fairly certain they'll be mostly fine after a proper rinse." 

Gladio swiftly stepped back, hands raised in front of him. "Whoa there, no need to get violent. I'm going, I'm going." 

But instead of continuing his retreat, he suddenly lunged forward, ducked under Ignis' lifted arm, and snatched the biggest piece of bacon from the plate before bolting out of his reach. 

Ignis lost a precious fraction of a second caught by surprise by such an outrageous act of temerity, so the ripe tomato he hurled in the direction of the criminal splatted on the side of the tent, while its intended recipient dove behind a boulder, cackling like a daemon. 

Something rustled inside the tent and in the tone Gladio liked to call "the royal whine", Noct's muffled, drowsy voice asked: "Would you two mind to kill each other quietly? There are people trying to sleep here." 

"Well, since your attempts seem to be rather futile anyway, you might as well get up and make yourself useful," Ignis snapped at him, while still glaring flaming daggers at Gladio. 

"Geez, relax, Specs," Prompto yawned from the depths of his sleeping bag. "It's too early to be all pissy. You'll bust a vein one of these days." 

With a wide grin, Gladio made a gesture saying: "See? Told you!" 

"I can hardly relax when I'm surrounded by mischievous fiends just waiting for me to lower my guard to strike!" 

The fiend in question snorted and for a second, Ignis looked like he's going to throw the knife at him this time but then he apparently decided there will be a better opportunity for an inconspicuous murder later because he gave him one last stink eye and went back to finish the breakfast. 

Only then Gladio dared to leave his cover, munching on his delicious prize. He knew it's a matter of a very short time before Ignis comes up with a horrible revenge and that he's probably a dead man walking one way or another but Astrals, was that worth it!


End file.
